Cats In Relation To Physics
It has been universally proven that Cats always land on their feet when pushed from a 10th story balcony, and it is a widely known fact that a Cat reaches its terminal velocity (the fastest speed it can reach before it stops accelerating and moves at a constant speed) after falling a mere seven stories. A Cat might sustain minor bruises and such from a fall from this height. It actually has a reduced risk of injury if falling from a height greater than 7 stories, because it has time to orient itself feet-first and stretch out like a flying squirrel to absorb the impact better. To test this scientific discovery, a Cat was lobbed off the roof of a 100-story building, plummeting to the ground, where it hissed up at the scientists and scurried into an alley after a mouse. Final conclusion based on result of experiment: Cat + 100 stories=angry Cat. This result can also be expressed using the equation . It is also widely known that buttered toast tends to land butter side down when dropped. Deranged lunatics once had a theory that if they buttered the back of a Cat with I can't believe it's not butter, and threw the Cat off a ledge, the laws of physics would battle it out, while one law is trying to land butter side down, the other law is trying to land on its paws, which would result in anti-gravity struggle in mid-air to fulfill the proper law(s). Although this theory was widely believed for a few years, it was later proven wrong when the experiment was carried out with real butter, leaving 2 of our 5 scientists blind due to the feline clawing their eyes out. They concluded that Cats don't always land butter side down, and to this day Cats landing butter side down is not one of the laws of physics. Alternate theories suggest that buttering the back of a Cat would launch it into a perpetual horizontal spin every time it jumped. Some have even suggested that this could be the holy grail of a new energy source, the elusive perpetual motion machine. However, dissenters (from Saudi Arabia) have argued that it would most likely result in more man made tornadoes, hurricanes and monsoons. Cats always landing on their feet is also not one of the laws of physics. Sometimes, they fall so fast that they don't have enough time to swivel around and they land on their side like a pancake. Cats also must protect themselves, because in the wild they need to be agile, flexible, large in appearance to enemies and able to lick their anus, therefore toast lands different ways depending on how it fell, and Cats landing on their feet is an instinct, so...um...what the hell am I trying to prove? Various other hypotheses suggesting that the Cat will still fall on its feet and then roll over exist. But no one has ever proven such ridiculous theories yet, and never plan to. Another possibility is that if you let a Cat fall with buttered toast strapped to its back over a highly expensive carpet, it will land on its feet, destroy the carpet in anger and then roll over in order to get rid of the toast, ruining the carpet beyond all reason. Currently the scientific community are looking at this in relation to kitten huffing